My wife is a magician; yesterday she turned our car into a tree. A big white horse walks into a pub. The barman says, "we have a drink named after you." The horse says, "What? Eric?" I said, "Waiter, what's that in my soup?" he said, "I'd better call the boss, I can't tell one insect from another." I'm reading a book called "Sex Before 20." Personally I don't like audiences. I said, "It's serious, doctor, I've broken my arm in 20 places." He said, "Well stop going to those places." I call my car flattery. It gets me nowhere.Put a smile on with this, the definitive Tommy Cooper Joke book. Included are the pick of Tommy's own extensive gag library, favorite stories, and photographs.